I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize