We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize