this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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