Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize