You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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