I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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