i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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