We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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