I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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