we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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