I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize