Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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