From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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