You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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