First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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