508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
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We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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