What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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