His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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