I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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