she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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