Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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