I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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