I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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