P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize