White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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