just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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