I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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