It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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