he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize