You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize