Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This house was built for laser tag.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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