tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize