you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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