ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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