Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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