1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We are all done wearing pants today
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize