I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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