YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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