also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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