is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
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If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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