Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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