i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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