WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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