it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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