He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
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we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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