I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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