Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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