Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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