I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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