its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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